Here We Go Again...

Since the intervention, I've had plans to visit my mother on Thursday. But I found out today, I had to delay them. 

I called her to tell her that I'm switching my tickets. No biggie, just arriving two days later.

For some reason though, her voice became panicked.

It's really cold here, why don't you cancel your trip altogether? Maybe wait until spring? I mean, it's not like we hate each other, there's no reason to rush up. How about you come in a few months?

She's done this before - push me away when she knows her drinking routine could be in jeopardy. So, I suspect she's back to her old ways again...

I knew the alcoholism wouldn't stay away for very long.

It's not my mom pushing me away, it's her disease. But for some reason I can't stop feeling wounded by her coldness. 

 

 

I called my step-father for a different reason today and just asked casually 

So, how's everything going? All well?

I was only assuming a generic reply.

But, he took a deep breath, sighed loudly and mumbled "It's a mess. I plead the fifth."

Almost on cue, my mom rushes onto the phone, talking wildly about something completely random - I think the Super Bowl maybe? - and I instantly knew there was trouble brewing.

Blerg. I wish there would be some actual progress for once.